Forgiveness...

brings me so much gratitude!

I've learned a lot since January 2009... I've posted a lot of what I have learned on this blog so I won't go through them now. The one thing that I have struggled with is forgiveness.. I have shifted my perception and changed my reality on many levels but when it came to letting the biggest aspect of my past go I thought that I was the exception... that I didn't have to forgive my father for his choices because it was too big to have to forgive... until now.

When we were teenagers my father moved to Hungary and left my sister and I to live with my grandmother (his mother) . We weren't happy with his decision and didn't understand and going into our teenage years we rebelled. I made many bad choices and ultimately blamed my father because he left...

Like I said I've made a lot of positive changes in my life but this one thing I couldn't let go of.

Even though I'm grateful for the person I am now and am stronger because of my past experiences, I just couldn't see clearly that I was putting my well being in the hands of another person, even though he couldn't change the choices that he made so many years ago, and I couldn't change mine. I knew that I needed to change my perception and forgive but I was stuck...

Then last night, when I was talking with my husband, I realized that I was still in victim mode and have been for all these years. I realized that telling my sad stories could not make things better and trying to pass on the responsibility of my choices would not help me move through my pain. I realized that if I could actually forgive my father then I would be free. And just like that, after all these years, I changed my viewpoint. I realized that I was ready to forgive, and let go and move on and take responsibility for my past choices but even better than that take responsibility for the biggest choice that I could make.

This morning I met my father for coffee and I forgave him. I instantly felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and our energy changed immediately. It wasn't awkward anymore, it was natural and pure.

My life changed this morning.

Thank you Dad for giving me this huge gift! I love you. I'm ready to move forward and looking forward to what the future holds... but more to what we have right now!

THANK YOU!